How you feel while pursuing your goals involves more than just how you're moving toward or away from them: there's a vertical dimension, too. Exploring the third dimension of your goals allows you to fine-tune your assessment of what matters to you, and maybe even discover motivations you aren't aware of.
Articles tagged with "research"
So far, we've covered how the forces of aversion and attraction affect your goal achievement. Now, we discuss why your pace of progress is incredibly important to how you feel about the process, and sets the stage for what happens next. If you think that setting a goal and then achieving it within your desired timeframe will make you happy, then you may be in for a surprise.
If you’ve ever felt bored, you know how it feels to want things to be different than they are, but not in what way, exactly. It’s an unpleasant feeling, and boredom is just a temporary state. When it comes to whole dimensions of your life—like social or career concerns, for instance—just knowing what you don’t want, but not what you do want, can cause you big problems. Free-floating aversions can scavenge energy and feelings of wellbeing in multiple ways, and tending to them can yield widespread benefits.
Between 15% and 30% of the U.S. population feels lonely chronically. Here we examine what it means to be lonely, how we become and stay that way, what it can do to us, and the latest methods of working with it. It so happens that mindfulness meditation has a lot in common with them. It's a connection that has only begun to be explored, and it's yet another reason to start meditating.
Setting and achieving goals seems straightforward enough in principle: figure out what you’d like to have or what kind of person you’d like to be, and then make concerted effort in that direction until you get there. But this oversimplification can set you up for self-blame when you fall short. There's more to achievement than perseverance and brute force. Here we begin to take a closer look at some of the variables that affect your ability to get where you want to be.
If aliens are studying us by monitoring the internet, then they have surely concluded two things: humans have an insatiable appetite for numbered lists and images of small animals. The prevalence of critters is no mystery: they’re cute. Lists of things you find online are meant to attract and hold your attention, and they can be fun and informative indeed. But they can also reinforce unhealthy habits of behavior and mind and otherwise impede your having long-term happiness.
You construct your narrative identity in much the same way as you consume a movie: more or less passively assimilating each experience into your story—unless something really unexpected happens. Being knocked completely off your feet, rather than just off balance, forces you to consider fresh interpretations and provides an opportunity to create big chunks of meaning in your life.
When you're trying to change a compulsive behavior, do you change your life so that the behavior doesn't fit anymore? Or do you try for as much stability as possible? Yes and no, to both.
As with any basic human need, there is a subsistence level of social connection, and a level that allows you to function optimally. But when it comes to your psychosocial health and ability to thrive, that distinction has less to do with the quantity of people in your life than it does with the characteristics of your relationships.
Many people spend years working hard and struggling, trying to achieve those things that society tells us will make us happy—only to arrive at a state of "success" wondering: "Is this all there is?" People like this long to feel of meaning and purpose, and to have fulfilling connection with the other people in their lives. To have who they are on the outside match what's inside. Here I give an overview of how you can do these things simply, even if you feel like it's too late—and even though it may not be the easiest thing in the world. It's what the Right Life Project is all about.