Our mind is a wonderful thing—except when it’s out of control, replaying painful, embarrassing, or shameful events from our past. Rumination isn’t just unpleasant, though. It retraumatizes us and reinforces negative beliefs (even though our mind is actually trying to help!).

Here’s a five-step approach to healing and growing where necessary, so you can stop dwelling on the past and start charting a new path forward.

If you’re stuck not knowing what to do next, because you aren’t sure what the right choice is, that’s not entirely bad. Before you flip a coin, react unwisely to the emotions you’re feeling, or pretend you know what you’re doing, consider staying with the uncertainty for a while.

Even in situations where it seems like your choices are equally good—or bad!—and you’re feeling confused and worried, arriving at your “I don’t know” is an important step in not just finding the right answer, but mastering your life.

You may not like being bored, but boredom can actually be very good for you if sometimes you just let it be, settle into it, and see where it leads. It can even be good to induce boredom sometimes!

On the other side of boredom is clarity, insight, and stillness that, at a minimum, can be a healthy and pleasant break for you and, at best, can help you discover new solutions for old problems.

No matter how motivated you are to start, distraction is always ready to strike. Here's how to get your focus on target and keep it there, so you can finish tasks efficiently and move on to the next thing with peace of mind.

Procrastination is often deemed a problem with focus, willpower, or self-doubt, but that’s not the whole story. Also, simply making more effort isn’t necessarily the best approach for dealing with it.

Recent research identifies a connection between procrastination and your imagination, and points to a fresh way of getting unstuck and feeling inspired to take action right now. Here I walk you through the steps for doing just that, which have proven helpful for me and my clients.

Regret is your mind's way of keeping you from repeating mistakes, but when it hangs around it can do more harm than good. Here I cover how your mind lays the groundwork for regret and how you can nip it in the bud. 

If you’ve ever had to contend with a toxic coworker, a relative who gives you a hard time, or someone else you feel stuck with, who torments you, then you may have felt helpless to do anything but fight fire with fire. But there’s another option: be wise and strategic in your response, to defuse conflict and use the situation for your personal growth. Here’s how to do it.

Here’s are the top three ideas that, if you can internalize them, can help you bring resilience, performance, peace, and happiness into your life, and keep it there.

I gave a lecture series aboard a cruise ship, helping people find meaning and purpose in their daily lives. Before the trip was over, I’d have found a source of meaning just for me, lying on a remote beach, waiting for me to discover it.

Was spending a Friday night in a sensory deprivation tank blissful? Not exactly, but it did illustrate the aversion and reactivity that causes us to suffer, and what we can do about it.

As good as social connection can be, it also leaves us vulnerable to being hurt by others. Here's how best to cope with it when it happens. Also, how hurt feelings can point to things inside you that could use some attention.

A reader of mine wanted to hear more about unhealthy relationships with food. Here's why it can be so hard to eat the types and amounts of food we want to, and how mindfulness can help.

When you're in a toxic relationship with a friend who has an "all-access pass" to you, the pain can cut right to your core. Here's a framework for rationally assessing the situation and moving forward with a minimum of distress. 

Your mind is an important part of your body, so be sure to include it in your fitness program. Mindfulness meditation provides a wealth of mental and physical health benefits, and helps you achieve whole-life fitness. 

Change or growth require effort now, hopefully for a reward later. But if you call this "delayed gratification," you're making things harder than they need to be. Plus, you're missing the gratification that's right in front of you.

In Part One we covered that suspense is a gratifying variation on fear. Now, we dive into four critical differences between the two, and how to start enjoying more of the uncertainty that life brings your way. 

Facing the unknown in your life can be scary. But fear, mixed with delight and hope, produces enjoyable suspense. Here's how to start converting one to the other, so you can enjoy your cliffhanger moments.

Recent research explores how viewing baby animal pictures helps you be focused and productive. Far from a fluff piece (ha), studies like this one are on the cutting edge of research into how positive emotions can help you thrive.