Our mind is a wonderful thing—except when it’s out of control, replaying painful, embarrassing, or shameful events from our past. Rumination isn’t just unpleasant, though. It retraumatizes us and reinforces negative beliefs (even though our mind is actually trying to help!).

Here’s a five-step approach to healing and growing where necessary, so you can stop dwelling on the past and start charting a new path forward.

If you’re stuck not knowing what to do next, because you aren’t sure what the right choice is, that’s not entirely bad. Before you flip a coin, react unwisely to the emotions you’re feeling, or pretend you know what you’re doing, consider staying with the uncertainty for a while.

Even in situations where it seems like your choices are equally good—or bad!—and you’re feeling confused and worried, arriving at your “I don’t know” is an important step in not just finding the right answer, but mastering your life.

Crises come in all different magnitudes, but they’re all anxiety-provoking, and that usually causes people to avoid them or tune out the pain and difficulty they bring.

But when you do that, you’re turning a blind eye to a beautiful and miraculous process. Difficult times are a prerequisite for growth, and crises are the signs of a life fully lived.

Sometimes you don’t realize that you’ve misplaced or left behind parts of yourself, until you find yourself in a rut years later.

It happened to me: I came to fear that I’d lost a colorful, vibrant part of me. It took a simple pair of shoes to help me realize that it had been with me the whole time. Any “lost” parts of you are hiding in plain sight, too . . . .and counting on you to continue looking for them.

Regret is your mind's way of keeping you from repeating mistakes, but when it hangs around it can do more harm than good. Here I cover how your mind lays the groundwork for regret and how you can nip it in the bud. 

For some people, it’s a matter of faith that every cloud has a silver lining. However, making meaning from difficulties is a very human, personal process that often requires effort, and not just blind faith.

If you’ve ever had to contend with a toxic coworker, a relative who gives you a hard time, or someone else you feel stuck with, who torments you, then you may have felt helpless to do anything but fight fire with fire. But there’s another option: be wise and strategic in your response, to defuse conflict and use the situation for your personal growth. Here’s how to do it.

Here’s are the top three ideas that, if you can internalize them, can help you bring resilience, performance, peace, and happiness into your life, and keep it there.

I gave a lecture series aboard a cruise ship, helping people find meaning and purpose in their daily lives. Before the trip was over, I’d have found a source of meaning just for me, lying on a remote beach, waiting for me to discover it.

Change is headed your way, whether you like it—and whether you see it coming—or not. Here are five ways to handle life transitions like a pro, and come out the other side stronger and happier.

Was spending a Friday night in a sensory deprivation tank blissful? Not exactly, but it did illustrate the aversion and reactivity that causes us to suffer, and what we can do about it.

Self-doubt is rampant, especially among high functioning professionals. Procrastination and workaholism are just a couple of symptoms. Here's how to tell if you may be suffering from it, and what to do about it. 

New Year's resolutions are notorious for flaming out quickly. Here's what you need to know about how to create lasting, positive change and feel great while doing it.

A reader of mine wanted to hear more about unhealthy relationships with food. Here's why it can be so hard to eat the types and amounts of food we want to, and how mindfulness can help.

When you're in a toxic relationship with a friend who has an "all-access pass" to you, the pain can cut right to your core. Here's a framework for rationally assessing the situation and moving forward with a minimum of distress. 

Everyone is afraid of something or other, but too much of it can be debilitating and keep you unhappy. Here are five quick tips for conquering your fears and taking your life back. 

If you've ever been awestruck by something you witnessed, and saw the world in a new way afterward, then you've experienced the aesthetically sublime. Turns out, the conditions you need for those experiences happen to be similar to those for a sublime life. 

In this follow-up, I propose considering difficult people separately from their deeds. It's how you can approach (and leave) your relationships with them in a wise and compassionate way works for you.

So-called "toxic" people act in opposition to happiness and healthy functioning—theirs and yours. Here, I explore how you can begin to understand and work with such people, and the dangers you face.