5 Steps to Stop Thinking About the Past (in a Healthy Way)

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5 Steps to Stop Thinking About the Past (in a Healthy Way)

Our mind is a wonderful thing—except when it’s out of control, replaying painful, embarrassing, or shameful events from our past. Rumination isn’t just unpleasant, though. It retraumatizes us and reinforces negative beliefs (even though our mind is actually trying to help!).

Here’s a five-step approach to healing and growing where necessary, so you can stop dwelling on the past and start charting a new path forward.

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Finding Stability When Life Feels Uncertain and Chaotic

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Finding Stability When Life Feels Uncertain and Chaotic

Amidst the uncertainty of a major life transition, it’s impossible to plan for every possibility ahead. But we don’t need to. We can see, even in nature, that there is an underlying order to things, even in the most chaotic times. We have an internal order, too.

When we learn to trust these, while also exercising our own wisdom where we can, we can make it through the difficult times and access our full potential.

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The Power of Not Knowing What to Do

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The Power of Not Knowing What to Do

If you’re stuck not knowing what to do next, because you aren’t sure what the right choice is, that’s not entirely bad. Before you flip a coin, react unwisely to the emotions you’re feeling, or pretend you know what you’re doing, consider staying with the uncertainty for a while.

Even in situations where it seems like your choices are equally good—or bad!—and you’re feeling confused and worried, arriving at your “I don’t know” is an important step in not just finding the right answer, but mastering your life.

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How to Deal with Crisis and Difficult Times

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How to Deal with Crisis and Difficult Times

Crises come in all different magnitudes, but they’re all anxiety-provoking, and that usually causes people to avoid them or tune out the pain and difficulty they bring.

But when you do that, you’re turning a blind eye to a beautiful and miraculous process. Difficult times are a prerequisite for growth, and crises are the signs of a life fully lived.

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Reclaiming the Parts of Yourself You Thought Were Lost

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Reclaiming the Parts of Yourself You Thought Were Lost

Sometimes you don’t realize that you’ve misplaced or left behind parts of yourself, until you find yourself in a rut years later.

It happened to me: I came to fear that I’d lost a colorful, vibrant part of me. It took a simple pair of shoes to help me realize that it had been with me the whole time. Any “lost” parts of you are hiding in plain sight, too . . . .and counting on you to continue looking for them.

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Three Things You Can Do to Stop Being Haunted by Regret

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Three Things You Can Do to Stop Being Haunted by Regret

Regret is your mind's way of keeping you from repeating mistakes, but when it hangs around it can do more harm than good. Here I cover how your mind lays the groundwork for regret and how you can nip it in the bud. 

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"Everything Happens for a Reason": The Fact and Fiction Behind the Cliché

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"Everything Happens for a Reason": The Fact and Fiction Behind the Cliché

For some people, it’s a matter of faith that every cloud has a silver lining. However, making meaning from difficulties is a very human, personal process that often requires effort, and not just blind faith.

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How to Talk to Difficult People . . . and Be Glad You Did

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How to Talk to Difficult People . . . and Be Glad You Did

If you’ve ever had to contend with a toxic coworker, a relative who gives you a hard time, or someone else you feel stuck with, who torments you, then you may have felt helpless to do anything but fight fire with fire. But there’s another option: be wise and strategic in your response, to defuse conflict and use the situation for your personal growth. Here’s how to do it.

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Three Daily Affirmations for People Who Don't Like Affirmations

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Three Daily Affirmations for People Who Don't Like Affirmations

Here’s are the top three ideas that, if you can internalize them, can help you bring resilience, performance, peace, and happiness into your life, and keep it there.

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Finding Meaning in Everyday Life . . . Where You Least Expect It

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Finding Meaning in Everyday Life . . . Where You Least Expect It

I gave a lecture series aboard a cruise ship, helping people find meaning and purpose in their daily lives. Before the trip was over, I’d have found a source of meaning just for me, lying on a remote beach, waiting for me to discover it.

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